The story nobody's asking for...

...but I'm going to blog about it anyway. It actually happened 2 weeks ago, but the reason why I'm blogging about it now is because, well, I'm lazy. You can't say I'm not honest. You can say that this story shouldn't be so long, but I miss essay writing in school. (I know, unbelievable, huh?). I just have to write a story. It's not a masterpiece like the stuff I used to make (Adik: Aksyen!), but it's something. It's a long post, so please bear with me.

A few weeks ago, I got an invitation to join a birthday party, to celebrate (what else?) a birthday. It doesn't really matter that I've never even actually met the birthday girl before then, but hey, a party's a party. Besides, I'm glad for any opportunity to get out of the house. The party happened on the 16th of April, a Saturday, a special Saturday, one which both my parents will be home. So what would you have picked - a fun birthday party, or sitting at home, getting nagged at by my folks to clean the dishes?

So of course, I got ready, and wore the nicest shirt I have in my closet that wasn't smelling of stale sweat and mothballs. I tried to comb my hair. The keyword is 'try', since I was trying to go for the Beatles look, you know, Paul McCartney. Now instead I got a Harry Potter look. Except Harry is actually cute. And has round glasses. So anyway, the birthday girl was someone I've wanted to meet for a long time. So I tried the best I can to make myself presentable. As presentable as a guy with wild hair, bad faint moustache and a face crying out for Neutrogena can be.

The venue: Swensen's Jurong Point. On the way there, in the bus 66 I saw my dear friend Faryn at the bus stop, looking as Aunty as ever. (I'm sorry, but to me, it takes a very special woman to wear a tudung and not look like an Aunty). She didn't see me, so I phoned her and chatted with each other for a while.

-Summary of our conversation
Faryn: Bla bla bla bla bla bla de dah dah bla bla bla
TheFiz: Mmhm, mhmm, oh really?, that's nice

Basically, I told her I was going to a birthday party, she was mad she wasn't invited and demanded who the birthday girl is. I didn't tell her because 1) she doesn't know her and B) she won't believe me if I do tell her who she is.

Skipping ahead to Jurong Point, which is "The Place to Be" after opening that new wing a few years ago. I was way too early, so I made my way to the library, and I must say, I found this great book of poems which is just a joy to read. I'd like to take this time to read a passage from the book entitled (CENSORED FOR EXTREMELY BORING SUBJECT).

Anyway, once it was time, I made my way back to Swensen's. BTW, the birthday girl has her own website, and so I have to meet the actual organisers of the party, the website's moderators, Alex and Sammie. Nice people they were. They took me up to Swensen's (pretty spiffy place it was) where the other invited guests were waiting. About 30 of them. That's half the restaurant space taken. Not bad at all.

Anyway, it was some group that gathered. The youngest was 10 years old, the oldest was 28. Different shapes and sizes but we all had a common goal: to meet the birthday girl. Who was late. As usual, so said Faisal, another moderator who I chatted with on the Net from time to time. So I just sat there, drinking the free water, introducing myself to the groupas meesotofreak, my nick at that website.

Finally, exactly one hour after I arrived, the birthday girl arrived. All heads turned to her. Not just our group, but the entire restaurant. Not surprising, considering how pretty she was. She proceeded to introduce herself to everyone, and everyone in turn gave her presents. Lots of presents. Really, it's surprising a petite woman like her can carry all those presents. So, with the birthday girl finally at Swensen's, we can order some food. Not being especially hungry, I ordered a Chocolate Ice Cream Malt. Let me give you a piece of advice: if you are NOT looking for a massive sugar buzz, do NOT order the Chocolate Ice Cream Malt. I'm just sayin'.

Truth be told, it wasn't much of a party. Sure the birthday girl went around trying to talk to everyone (not me though, unfortunately). But otherwise, she sat with the moderators. So I just sat there, eating my ice cream, getting the biggest sugar buzz of my life.

Of course, the birthday girl soon had to leave because of a prior engagement. But she said we can all watch her do the said prior engagement. So of course we went to the stage where she was doing her engagement. It all went well. I even enjoyed the manicure competition.

BTW, throughout the show, there was this irritating jingle about Jurong Point that kept playing. No wait, irritating is not the word. Terrible. Awful. Loathsome. I can't think of any other word. So of course when it was time for the jingle singing contest, one of the the emcee picked me to joined the contest. I tried to decline politely, but the other emcee actually came up and dragged me to the stage. The other emcee incidentally being the birthday girl. I said "I can't sing", which was a lie, I can sing a little, but still no one listened. And the gang (those who stayed back) were cheering me on, so I thought "What the heck?". If I'm going to sing a jingle on stage, in front of hundreds of shoppers, I might as well give 'em a show. So I sang my guts out, trying not to puke from the awfulness of the song. Heck, I think I even sang it better than the original jingle singer (Vernon A, I think). OK, maybe not, but a guy has the right to delude himself right?

Wow, this post is long, isn't it?

As it turned out, the other contestant singers couldn't match my showmanship. Maybe they were nervous. And here's the thing. For some reason, the minute I was on that stage and looked at the audience, my nervousness vanished. I have no idea why. It was actually replaced by enthusiasm. Maybe my Singapore Idol experience helped. Speaking of which, the people was asked to vote by applauding. I'm amazed my head didn't expand to the size of Russia, the applause, while not on the level of Taufik, was loud. Very loud. Even a few whistles here and there. So thus, I won the competition. And all I had to do was sing a crappy jingle. Which you can hear at Perfect 10 if you're lucky. The gang had the cheek to call for an encore, so of course I had to sing again. Alas, it wasn't as good. But hey, least I won a Perfect 10 folder, a landyard, a car sticker and vouchers worth $40 bucks. Which my sis promised to give me.

I went to the gang, got my congratulations and ran for the loo. Funny how I realised I had a full bladder only after my Grammy-winning performance eh?

We waited for the show to end so that we can see the birthday girl to her car. What can we say? We liked her. Enough to send her to her car. Besides, we wanted to see exactly what car it was. On the way to the carpark, people kept staring at us. Ok, ok, not us. Her. Can't help it, she is a famous personality. We stopped outside the carpark because the birthday girl didn't want us to come in. So we had one quick photo taking session. One auntie even came and asked for a photo on her mobile for her son. And yes, I got to get my picture taken with the birthday girl, who I just realised I haven't named yet. Well, I don't have to say it, the name's in the link to the photo below.

http://www.jamie-yeo.com/forums/album_comment.php?pic_id=2142

I've wanted to take a photo with her for the longest time. Well now I've done it. That is cool. Too bad I look as blur and weird as usual.

Then we finally let Jamie go (after one last Birthday song), and waited around to say Bye Bye as she drove by. Which she did. In a Mini Cooper, believe it or not. I even got her car number. Too bad I've forgotten it.

Then we all said our goodbyes and split up. Nice day for me I'd say.

Then of course, as I got home and tried to sleep, the folks dragged me up and the whole family went to East Coast for some reason. I don't mind though. I did get to climb a tree for the first time.

Hmmm, I guess that's it then. Story's over. Darn, it's not as good as I hoped it would be. I must be getting rusty. Ah well, I'll work on it. In a nutshell, on the 16th of April, I got to go out and celebrate my 2nd favourite DJ's birthday. Not as exciting as the BBQ last year which I missed, but it's something.

-Last note: I love this template! It's so simple and yet so brilliant in ways I don't know how to say.

They annoy me and make me pull my hair sometimes, but good God, I like these guys. 

Last post in this template

You won't believe what I'm about to say if you've seen my room, but I do like neatness. I like it when my books are placed in a neat row. I like it when my food is arranged nicely, like in a fancy restaurant which I can never afford. And I like it when I see some blog posts arranged in point form. That's a neat way to blog. Instantly shows all the different topics the blogger is talking about. So here, I now introduce my new way of blogging. Hyphen Form!

-I like those Integrated Resort ideas. For selfish reasons. Forget those dumb tourists, finally, TWO new places to go to in Singapore. Orchard is nice, but it's getting boring. That place seriously needs a booster shot. Spice it up a little. Make it more like a TRUE city. Our city is just an area with lots of concrete buildings. I do hope the proper authorities make it a whole lot more than just that.

-I'm not going to mention the casinos because since I'm never going to step foot in any casino in Singapore, it doesn't matter if they decide to make the whole East Coast Park a casino.

-Chelsea's going to win the Premiership. I did ask for it though. "Any team but Man U!" I said. So, here comes Chelsea. I like that Mourinho fella. Here's this relatively young Portugeuse chap who comes in, shakes the whole club to its core and is on his way to winning both the Premiership AND the Champion's League. In his FIRST season. How unbelievable is that? He certainly is better than old school Fergie, that's for sure. Not to mention the team itself of course. Lampard, Terry, Cech, to name a few. Deserving champs every one of them.

Too bad Arsenal will kick their butts next season.

-To cap off, I said I liked neatness. Well, I think this blog template looks kinda cluttered doesn't it? Blame the wallpaper, of course. So this would be my last post using this template. The reason I use this template is to try to stand out visually. That's still important of course, but when it comes to art, I'm just all out of paint. And besides, this sort of template is one that a pre-teen would use, right? So I'm going to use one of Blogger's default templates. I think they're kinda neat, don't you?

Next post: I will answer my sister's question - Where on Earth did I get $45 worth of vouchers and a Perfect 10 landyard? (Hint: The answer won't shock you. In fact, you might say it's a bit anti-climatic.)

Comedy makes the most serious thing light...

Terri Shiavo's Blog

That has got to be the most tasteless, yet oddly funniest, thing I've ever seen.

Almost there...

First, Richard Vobes from The Richard Vobes Show reads my letter (Show 80). Now Mr Brown links me (maybe for the wrong reason, but still...). That explains the sudden hike in readers. Not that I'm complaining, narcissist that I am. A big Howdy to everyone!

Now I just have to figure out how to make my sister lend me another 10 bucks. Good thing she's rich now.

National Service - Boo Hoo

Apparently, according to Faryn's blog, there's something going on at YISS, and I'm not privy to the details. That means I don't know what the heck is going on there. I don't mind though. I got a feeling I'm not going to miss much. 'Cept the Mee Soto. 'Groan'

So I now have this letter from the Ministry of Defence, saying I have to report at a secret location (ok, ok, the Registration & Enlistment Centre) this Friday. They want to do a medical examination to judge whether or not I'm fit for NS. You know the drill, temperature taking, needles, sticking something up my rectum, the works.

The whole thing will take 4 hours. So I suppose if I survive the whole thing, I can consider myself fit for NS. And I might just do that. Darn.

The next day will be the birthday party I've been waiting for for a while. Should be fun. And that's all I will say.

Oh, and I got mentioned on a internet radio show. That - is cool.

Oompa Woompa Loompa

Now THESE are what movie posters look like! My favourite children's book before Harry Potter.


Charlie Bucket


Augustus Gloop


Mike Teevee


Veruca Salt


Violet Beauregarde


Willy Wonka

They got me pumped for the movie!

Sexy Boys & Girls

'Sigh'

I consider myself pretty handy with a computer, so the fact that I had no idea how to post a picture in my own blog embarasses me a bunch. I suceeded once, but that was a fluke because I didn't remember how I did it. Now, however, I took some time (1 hour 3 minutes) to figure out how to post a picture. In the end, it's pretty simple actually. I know, I know, trhow me bricks, say I'm dumb for not knowing how to post. Least I'm man enough to admit my weaknesses. So I wonder why I don't consider man enough to look for a job right now? Hmrm.

Anyhow, the lady in that pic right there, you probably know her. If you don't, just look at my new section 'Blog Stars' and click on the top link. Apparently, this very picture inspired some local bloggers to emulate her - the sexy pose, the toungue sticking out. It's called 'The Sexy Blogger Project'. Sounds a whole lot better than 'The Blair Witch Project' eh? Here's the website: http://www.flickr.com/photos/tags/sexyblogger/

So what better choice than this picture of Wendy Cheng as my very first (ok, second) successful posted picture? Besides, this would hopefully get me a few more hits. I am such an attention whore, it's no longer funny.

BTW, no, I won't send in a picture of myself in that website. Not until I shave my faint moustache and trim my a little anyway.

Congratulations on my sister for using her very first paycheck to buy not a dress, not a pair of shoes, and thankfully not yet another handbag, but something we both can use - the Apple iPod ShuffleTM. I'd post pictures of it, but I keep forgetting to ask my dad to get the camera out of the car.

EDIT: I've wanted you guys to use the comment system under my posts for eons. So because of that, I'm considering crapping the tagboard. Good idea? Bad idea? Click on the comment link to answer please. ;)

Positivity

I would like to make a vow: Never again will I make another blog post that sounds remotely negative again. Ever. Unless it's a really bad issue that needs to be said of course. And bear in mind that there will be one negative post coming in the next 2 months.

This is the Darwin Awards website. In a nutshell, it chronicles all the stories about people who do stuff taht are so dumb, so unbelievably STUPID, that a) they die - or b) their penises fall off (Most awards go to men. Good news for all those women who think we're dumb, eh?). Then I see a story in the papers recently about the guy who died when he got hit by an MRT train. Now, death is never a good thing (or maybe it is, cause you never know what happens when you die. You could end up in Paradise, you could end up in Purgatory, or you just don't exist anymore, plain and simple), man that was a long paranthesis wasn't it? Where was I? Ah yes. Death is never a good thing, and my condolences go to the deceased's family. But think about it. What would you do when your shoe falls on the tracks? Maybe you can just walk half bare footed. Maybe, if you have a very long stick, you can pick the shoe up with it. Or maybe you can call the MRT staff, and they will either gladly help you get the shoe, or gladly tell you that there's nothing they can do. But who in their freakin' mind, would take matter in their own hands, try to get that shoe themselves, and offer their bodies as an inviting target for an incoming train?

A Darwin Award winner, that's who.

Pope John Paul II just died a few hours from me typing this. The guy has touched many lives, Christian and non-Christian. I don't agree with some of his opinions, but if there ever was a guy who deserved to be Time's Man of the Year, he was it. The world has lost a great human being.